She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
