another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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