Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
