I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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