A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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