remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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