Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
