I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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