i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
