Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
