I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
