my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
