Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
