the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Drunk is not a location!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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