Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I cut my penus on the lid.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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