we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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