I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
