in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
