I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
