Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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