we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
