Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
