I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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