So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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