We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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