if you like me you must not know who I am
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
