her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
