she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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