i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
