she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You may now shotgun with the bride
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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