you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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