if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I understand Curling. That high.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
