I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
