You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
