? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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