16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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