you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
