Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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