Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
