She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
it glows. i had to have it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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