Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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