You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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