The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
