Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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