Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
