What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
