So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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