I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
ttyl tear gas
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
