I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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