if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
