Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
im holly from the hills drunk
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
