He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
