Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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