What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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