Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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