please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
