How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Randomize
