why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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