I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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