We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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