No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
