dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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