Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
