i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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