i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize