isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
