Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
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