She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i out mim tonsoeep
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