Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
