so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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