Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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