It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
