Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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