did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
