chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I will be naked everywhere
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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